The 'Happy Birthday' Party

I thought I was being clever, but it turned out I was not quite as smart as I thought I was, or as I'd like to be. It's a long story, so please bear with me.

So, She With The Short Fat Hairy Legs has reached a milestone birthday, and to mark same, She began dropping hints many many months ago that sh would enjoy a birthday bash, much the same as one we attended way back at the beginning of the year. That was when she got the idea, and began dropping hints.

Of course, we took no notice.

Recently, we both of us forgot our Anniversary until such time as we were reminded of it by the receipt of cards and congratulations and all that stuff that the Ladies seem to enjoy (is this a built-in trait, I wonder?).

So, when She took me out for a meal to mark the occasion, I told her that this would probably upset what I had planned for her birthday. You see, I'd remembered all on my own account, without help, that her birthday was coming up. I told her then that I was going to take her out for a quiet meal, just the two of us. Naturally, she wanted to know 'where?' but I told her to wait and see.

Now, having made all the necessary arrangements, the idea was for me to shoot off with the Birthday Girl, leaving the kids to follow by a different route. She was all ready to leave them to their own devices and had told them in no uncertain terms that they were on their own for a while. When No.3 asked if he could come, I heard her use a word I'd never ever heard her use before! Obviously, she was looking forward to the intimacy of a romantic evening with the most handsome chap in the world.

However, No.1 son's car is off the road, so they were short of transport, as they now intended to pinch Her little car for the occasion, which would hold only 4 bodies. As it happens, No.2 has just spent the week in hospital, so I told Her that our Daughter would have to come with us because No. 3 was off somewhere with No. 1 and No.3 wasn't up to looking after her.

Mrs.G accepted this and our 12 year old little lady fell in with it - objecting and moaning like a teenager.

So, come the night, I had to get Her out of the way, not too early and not too late, as I had to give the others some space and time to get ready and get there before us.

So, all prettied up in our best bib and tuckers, I set off to 'find' somewhere to have a meal. We looked at the Lock Keeper, we ruled out The Roman's Rest and discovered that The Parish Oven in Thorpe Salvin doesn't serve on a Sunday after 4pm.

There was nothing that I fancied in Harthill and so we paused at the Treble Bob in Barlborough. We'd been here before but it has changed hands and No.1 had recently been there. So, sitting in the car park there, I rang him to ask him (in a clear voice) whether it was worth the effort.

He told me that things were not quite ready and people were still arriving and to hang on a long as possible.

Problem and Herself was getting fidgetty, but the little one chimed in, as arranged "What about The Half Moon, Daddy? We've been there before, and I like it."

So I agreed it was a good idea, but paused to take a look at the De Rhodes Arms. This was getting awkward, so I was obliged to set out towards the Half Moon.

"It's a good job there's no traffic behind you!" say's Herself.

"Why?" says I, innocently.

"Cos you're driving so slow!" says She.

"So? We're not in any rush, are we?"

"No, but I'm getting hungry."

So, when we rolled on down the hill to the Half Moon, I carefully checked to see if there was any danger, and parked in a spot reasonably close to the door. We parked up, and off She poddled to the door, leaving the Little One and yours truly to follow in her wake.

She passed out of sight round the corner of the pub and we heard a squeal of surprise? delight? wonnder? She had only gone and bumped into her Dad, who'd stepped outside for a cigarette!

OK, so this was a coincidence, as her dad tried to make out - maybe. She hurried inside to discover that it was no coincidence, as some 28 family and friends were there waiting for her to arrive.

There were tears, of course, but this did not spoil the evening as the Birthday Girl had the best evening that I could give her.

I'm rather pleased it went so well.

Happy Birthday Girl.