Dog Pee, Rain and can I go back to bed please.

Our poor little dog has tried his best to fit in to the family and we love him to bits, but I'm beginning to think hard about the slogan "a dog isn't just for Christmas" and am beginning to add the words "with a little care, there'll be enough left for Boxing Day". This morning, in the wee small hours, I was too tired to think about that, but not now, in the cold light of day.

Let me explain. Because he's a loveable, frisky, cuddly four-legged beast with a pair of heart-melting eyes, it doesn't mean that he can't be a little sod as well. Much like kids, I suppose. One minute you love 'em to bits, the next you want to strangulate the little buggers.

First, I have to explain how the little doggy woggy, Bracken by name, confirmed the safety of the new electric system, installed when they did some work on our house. Yes, THAT work, of which I was moved to write so feelingly.

They installed new wiring with a new distribution box, complete with Earth Leakage Trip, or Residual Current Device. I'm told that this enables the unwary householder to stick his fingers into any handy light socket without harm, though the practise is, quite understandably, discouraged.

With the previous distribution unit, we used to get the power cut off whenever a light bulb failed but, I'm pleased to say that this hasn't so far happened with the new one. I was a little concerned as to the effectiveness of the new one, until Bracken pissed on one of the wall sockets. This is a surface mounted box, installed when the council did their previous bodge job before we moved in here. This box is at floor level, within handy reach of the little sod if he's taken short and either doesn't want, or can't be bothered to go outside.

So when our furry family member proved the effectiveness of the residual current device, the power was instantly cut off and he didn't even receive a tingle in his todger - not that we know anyway. Whatever, the experience hasn't taught him to steer clear of that place, and there are no burn marks on the pooch that we have to explain away or camouflage.

At 1.30 this morning, all was well with the world, considering that we were a body short with No.2 still in hospital. Suddenly, the power went off, causing the phone belonging to No.3 to start chirping as his charger stopped doing its thing. He woke up, saw that the power was off and came to wake Herself and Yours Truly.

She clambered out of bed and went downstairs, stumbled around to find a torch and immediately the pair of them saw a wet patch on and around the offending power socket. Bracken! The little bugger been at it again.

While they were fiddling around with the power of a small torch, I came out of the bedroom and the first thing I saw was the green power light on my stairlift. So, I rode downstairs on it and on reaching the bottom, reached over their heads and switched on the houselights!

Different circuits!

Anyway, this gave the lad light to see what he was doing, so he removed the top of the power socket to find it wet inside, yellow wet, dog pee wet. The pair of them wiped this out with tissues then tried the trip on the consumer unit. No go, it still tripped out.

I had the idea that it might be the caravan feed at fault. No.1 has a caravan which he has parked in our front garden and recently took a feed from the house into it. Since he's had his 'relationship' issue with his girlfriend, he's been kipping in there. Now it's been raining cats and dogs and I suspected that the rain might possibly have leaked into the electrics in the caravan. I recalled him saying that there was a small problem in that quarter.

I asked No.3 to pull the plug on the lead to the van and hey presto! The power came back on.

So, it seems, the woolly maggot may not be wholly to blame for this morning's hiatus - it was probably the rain outside as well. Either one or t'other, but the fact that the power only switched back on when we detached the caravan cable - so the little bugger may be allowed to inhabit whatever quarter of the house he chooses, so long as he stops pissing on the power sockets!