That Guilty Feeling

Many years ago, I was a member of a canal cruising club, based on our local canal. The club had begun life as a restoration club, since the canal, built in 1777 to help fuel the Industrial Revolution, had been allowed to become derelict - indeed, it had actually been pushed into that state by the very people into whose care it had fallen (the Government).

The club had campaigned for its restoration and we actually, the members, that is, had conducted many working parties to help towards that end. The local Inspector whose responsibility it was, was quite supportive to us and gradually, the canal became more easily navigable, if with difficulty, as far as Worksop.

Although the canal had been built as an industrial artery, to carry coal, lead, iron, bricks etc, it also served to carry agricultural products, and passing through beautiful agricultural land, received a large amount of water run off from the fields around.

This meant that it was badly silted and full of the very fertiliser the farmers spread on their land, feeding the weed. Because it was little used, the water was clear enough for a special type of weed to flourish - blanket weed. This is a photo-synthetic creature which grows rapidly withy sunshine, but reduces if denied that very commodity. One way of assuring this denial is by using the water, by stirring up the silt and clouding the water.

This also denies the fish any easy sight of their food, so that a fisherman casting his bait, stands a better chance of catching one of the blighters. This works because the fish normally graze, and when the water is stirred up by the propellor of a boat, they have all sorts of food stirred up for them, including those juicy bits fastened to hooks on lines.

We had arranged a cruise from our base at Clayworth, up to Worksop, no easy journey due to the state of the locks and the weed problem, but come the day, some four narrowboats made it, leaving the cruisers by the wayside, beaten by the heavy weed.

The point of the cruise was made, i.e., to draw attention to the canal as an amenity, and the owners and friends spent a nice evening in the Canal tavern, situated in the terrace of houses by the canalside.

About two weeks later, I came home from work, arriving about three o'clock, for Mam to tell me that I'd had a visitor from the Telecommications people. She'd explained that I was at work and the chap said he'd call again the next day, a little later.

Mam, being the person she was, bought up to hospitality, arranged for the chap to eat with me when I came home, so, when I came home the next day, there was a large green van parked outside the flat, covered in antennae, with the words "Post Office Telecommunications" emblazoned along the sides.

The chap introduced himself and explained that I wasn't in trouble, but that there was potentially a little problem which he believed to be in my power to alleviate. He told me that they'd received complaints that boats on the canal had been interferring with the television signal in the terraced homes alongside the canal, and since I was registered as Secretary, could I do anything about it?

Of course, I explained the set up and, since the compaints were centred on the recent weekend's visit, how it was not possible the boats to which we had any connection could be responsible. All four of those boats were diesel powered - no electric sparks to the engines.

Naturally, I told him that we, as a club, were not responsible for all the boats on the canal, but as a matter of course, I'd advise all our members using outboard motors to have their electrics checked over.

He was happy with this, and we spent the rest of the afternoon discussing this and that, until he said thanks for the lunch and the chat and set off in his van to drive back to Lincoln, for that is where he was from.

The next morning at 5 0'clock, I set out to work, calling at the little newsagent/sub Post Office (opposite the flats where I lived) for my cigs and newspaper, to be collared by the proprietor, who appeared quited excited.

"Are you in trouble with the telly people?"

"No!"

"Well, you had the tv detector van standing outside your flat all yesterday afternoon, and it was there the day before as well!"

"No, it wasn't." I told him the story briefly, and he told me not to tell anyone else or I'd be skinned alive.

He said that lots of people took the van to be the tv detector van and that they were checking on licenses, so he had a run on tv licenses at the post office. He went on to tell me that he'd sold more tv licenses in one day than he'd sold in the three years he'd run the shop!

That's why people were avoiding me! They must have thought I was in cahoots with them!!!!